I am better than You

"You are much bigger than her, you are prettier than her, you are worth much more, she's not even close to your level..."

Does it console you when someone tells you this after your partner goes with another woman?

It has never consoled me.

Comparing myself to the other woman, making derogatory comments about her in public, or attacking her to seek approval from my circle has never made me feel better.

So, I never use this approach to console a woman suffering from love, because I believe it only serves to inflate our ego, not to raise our self-esteem.

I think if our self-esteem didn't depend on whether a man loves us or not, we wouldn't have any need to feel better or superior to any woman.

"I am more than you, you are worth nothing" does not help ease your pain or allow you to build a beautiful relationship with yourself.

Perhaps belittling the other woman may help you vent your anger and frustration, but it won't console you over such a painful loss.

Having others side with you and speak ill of the other woman won't aid the most important task in the process of grief: accepting that your partner no longer loves you and has fallen in love with another woman. A woman who is different from you, neither better nor worse.

Causing her harm won't bring you happiness or make you feel better, I believe.

What has truly helped me in times of grief is not war, but love: being with my friends, gathering with wonderful women, and becoming aware of all the love inside me and around me.

I wish we didn't need to feel superior to anyone to feel better or to bolster our self-esteem because in this battle between women, it's the patriarchy that wins.

Coral Herrera Gómez