The pact of fidelity is a pact of care. When we make a pact of fidelity, we are not promising our partner that we will never feel attracted to someone else or that we will never fall in love with another person.
That cannot be promised, as we do not know if it will happen.
You can express that you would like to love them for your whole life, but you cannot swear that love will never run out.
The only thing we can promise each other when we come together is that, no matter what happens, we will be loyal and take care of each other.
The pact of fidelity is actually a pact of mutual care in which we commit to being honest with our partner if our love ends or if we fall in love with someone else.
It is a pact in which we commit to being truthful if we are strongly attracted to someone else or if we are starting to feel something strong for someone else. We will share what is happening and what we are feeling, so that we can manage the crisis or the ending without violence.
Because deceit and lies cause a lot of harm, so as we love each other, we will not make each other suffer. Or at least, we will try with all our hearts.
I trust my partner, but I don't expect that they will never stop loving me or that they will never fall in love with someone else.
I trust that if that ever happens, I will be the first person to know, I trust that they will not lie to me or deceive me. I trust that they will not be in two relationships at the same time for months or years. I trust that the other person will not enter my home or my bed. I trust that the other person will care for me even when they are beginning to detach romantically from me.
This is how I understand the pact of care upon which I build my romantic relationships: I cannot promise that I will love you forever.
But in the time we are together, and even if we fall out of love, I will be brave to tell you how I feel, to listen to how you feel. We will take care of each other, and we will assess together whether we want to continue the relationship or if it's better to end it.
We will continue to be allies and companions until the end, and we will not engage in wars, because we have committed to taking care of each other, in good times and in bad, from the first day to the last.
Coral Herrera Gómez