When does an ex become dangerous?


  • When they refuse to accept the separation and ask you to come back a hundred thousand times, and they don't listen when you tell them no.
  • When they stop caring about how you feel and completely lose empathy towards you.
  • When they become obsessed with the separation, can't stop thinking about you, and lose interest in everything around them.
  • When they try to manipulate mutual friends and your loved ones by playing the victim.
  • When they try to involve the children you have in common.
  • When their resentment, frustration, and anger take over, and they lose control over their emotions and how they express them.
  • When you realize they are a misogynist because they can't stand your freedom and don't respect your right to separate.
  • When they transition from emotional blackmail (if you don't come back to me, I'll die) to threats (if you don't come back to me, I'll kill myself/kill you/kill the children).
  • When they mistreat you and threaten your partner or anyone you care about.
  • When their wounded pride and shattered ego come into play.
  • When you ask them to stay away and leave you alone, and they become more insistent. When you ask them to stop calling you and they find any excuse to do so whenever they want.
  • When they show up at your home or workplace without asking for permission.
  • When you run into them on the street and at the places you frequently visit.
  • When they damage your car, your home, or anything that holds value for you.
  • When you ask for no contact and they don't respect it.
  • When their treatment of you and their mood abruptly change.
  • When they seek reasons to pick fights or create drama almost every day, and these conflicts become increasingly intense and violent.
  • When they become affectionate, claim they will change, and then hate you again the next day for no apparent reason.
  • When they try to maintain a constant presence in your life and impose themselves to maintain power over you.
  • When they speak to you with hatred: insults, cruel jokes, ruthless mockery, disparaging and humiliating comments, false accusations...
  • When they harass you through social media and phone calls. When you block them and they try to contact you from unknown numbers.
  • When they twist reality to suit their desires, and eventually can't distinguish their version of reality from actual reality.
  • When you begin to fear them, they notice, and they enjoy it.
  • When you look around before entering your home.
  • When you realize they are blinded, can't reason properly, and won't seek help.
  • When their life's purpose becomes turning yours into a genuine nightmare.
  • The greater the obsession and emotional tension, the more danger you're in. It's crucial that your loved ones and their loved ones know what's happening, and that you gather evidence. Don't think you can handle this alone or stop it on your own. Seek help from your loved ones; your support network can save your life.

Coral Herrera Gómez

Original en español: ¿Cuando se vuelve peligroso un ex?