The Ethics of Love and the Philosophy of Care: A fundamental subject for life.

 

The key to the change we need lies in care. To end the suffering of the population and build a better world, we could start by teaching the values of the Culture of Non-Violence, Ethical Love, and the Philosophy of Care in schools.

Learning to care for myself, my home, and the spaces I inhabit, caring for my loved ones, caring for nature, and caring for the planet: it's a simple formula to improve our ways of relating and organizing.

The pandemic of suicides and mental illnesses demonstrates the urgent need for tools to halt self-destruction and curb the violence we exert against ourselves, among us, and against other living beings and the planet.

It's time to learn how to take care of ourselves and our relationships: we have the right to live a good life and dream of a better world. And Coeducation based on the values of ecofeminism and pacifism is a powerful tool to initiate the changes we need.

The modules of this subject would be:

  1. Taking Care of Myself:
  • Learning sexual and emotional education.
  • Learning to build a beautiful relationship with myself, learning to love and treat myself well.
  • Learning to listen to myself and have confidence in myself.
  • Strengthening my self-esteem.
  • Controlling my ego and cultivating humility.
  • Learning to care for my words and the way I speak to myself and others.
  • Learning to manage my emotions so they don't overwhelm me or others.
  • Acquiring tools to know myself better and appreciate my abilities and qualities.
  • Working on aspects of myself that I don't like, things that make me suffer and cause suffering to others.
  • Learning to practice loving self-critique and working to become a better person.
  • Learning to take care of my mental and emotional health.
  • Learning to take care of my sexual health and enjoy my relationships.
  • Learning to value my life and take care of my health: basic knowledge of hygiene, nutrition, and well-being.
  • Learning to be responsible for my well-being and happiness.
  • Learning my fundamental Human Rights, as well as those of others.
  • Learning to be loyal to myself.

 

2.Taking Care of Others:

  • Learning the arts of assertiveness and Nonviolent Communication.
  • Learning to think about the Common Good.
  • Understanding human relationship structures and power hierarchies to change how I relate to others.
  • Learning to use my own power and understanding how others use theirs.
  • Learning to cooperate and build networks of mutual support.
  • Developing empathy, solidarity, and companionship.
  • Unlearning the notion of deriving enjoyment from causing suffering to others.
  • Learning to relate with respect and kindness.
  • Analysis and deconstruction of individualism values (selfishness, narcissism, etc.).
  • Reflecting on suffering, evil, and cruelty.
  • Unlearning values of accumulation and hoarding.
  • Learning to share and work as a team.
  • Learning to forge alliances and networks of mutual support.
  • Learning to resolve conflicts without resorting to violence.
  • Training to become aware of the impact our words, desires, thoughts, and actions have on others.
  • Imagining alternative ways of relating and loving, free from suffering and exploitation.
  • Advocating for our right and the right of others to enjoy a good life.
  • Taking care of the elderly and children, taking care of the most vulnerable people and animals.
  • Taking care of my partner.
  • Taking care of my caregivers.
  • Taking care of my pets and plants.

 

3. Taking Care of My Home and the Spaces We Inhabit, and Caring for My Planet:

  • Learning basic tasks for survival (hygiene and cleanliness, nutrition, physical, mental, and emotional health).
  • Embracing my responsibility as a citizen for building a better world.
  • Learning to enjoy and care for nature, and understanding the delicate balance of our ecosystem.
  • Developing immunity against intolerance, socially transmitted diseases, and phobias.
  • Learning to value the biological and cultural diversity of our planet.
  • Imagining alternative ways of interacting with the planet and the other living beings that inhabit it.
  • Envisioning alternative ways of nourishing ourselves, producing, and relating.
  • Imagining alternative models of social, political, economic, sexual, and emotional organization.
  • Dreaming of other worlds and investigating with the tools of science to bring them into reality.

In this subject, the main cross-cutting theme would be Human Rights, social movements, and universal principles of social justice, freedom, peace, solidarity, care, and love.

 

At a theoretical level, these cross-cutting themes would be addressed:

  • Theory of culture and media: techniques of reality construction and mass manipulation.
  • Feminist theory and history of the women's liberation movement.
  • Ecological theory and the environmental movement.
  • Pacifist and antimilitarist theory and movement.
  • Studies of masculinities, anti-racism, diversity, and culture of non-violence.

Throughout the course, students will have the opportunity to engage with significant questions of Humanity and imagine alternatives to the current system:

  • Is life a common phenomenon in the Cosmos? Are there other civilizations, or are we completely alone in an immense and vast Universe?
  • Why is life on our planet threatened, and why are we destroying it despite knowing the consequences?
  • Given the knowledge and necessary skills to save ourselves, why aren't we already doing it?
  • How can we eliminate inequality and hierarchies?
  • How can we put an end to violence and wars?
  • How do we distribute resources among everyone to eliminate poverty, exploitation, and suffering?
  • How can we ensure that we all live better lives than we do now?
  • How do we improve communication, care, and love for one another?

 

This subject blends the personal with the political: its aim is to equip students with the ability to think about the Common Good and the Community of human beings on this planet. It aims to develop their capacity for critical thinking, provide them with tools to decipher the underlying ideology in the messages they receive through media and cultural productions, encourage the blossoming of their imagination, acquire basic values for building good relationships, and work towards a better world.

When the first generation receives these teachings and embraces these values, they will be able to educate their children without violence and help them develop their own tools for self-care and caring for others.

We have the right to demand that governments provide us with an ecofeminist and pacifist education, based on the ethics of love and the philosophy of care, because the future of humanity depends on our ability to care for the planet and think about the Common Good.

The revolution of love starts in schools and universities: we simply need to teach the new generations how to create their own tools to contribute to the construction of a better world.

Coral Herrera Gómez

Original en español: La Ética del Amor y la Filosofía de los Cuidados 

Women can do what we want when we fall in love

Women are capable of doing anything when we fall in love:

  • In love, we can decide not to start a relationship if the right conditions for loving and enjoying love are not present.
  • In love, we can negotiate how we will build the relationship from the beginning to the end.
  • In love, we can establish boundaries and red lines on non-negotiable issues (such as personal freedom, respect, and relationships with our loved ones).
  • In love, we can recognize when someone loves us and when they don't, and we can leave a relationship without reciprocity.
  • In love, we can take the leap with a parachute and enjoy the flight without putting ourselves in danger.
  • In love and drunk with love, we can continue to use our intelligence and common sense, and we can make important decisions responsibly.
  • In love, we can continue to be ourselves and be loyal to ourselves.
  • In love, we can love as mature women, take responsibility for our well-being, and commit to ourselves as we commit to our beloved.
  • In love, we can read the signs and listen to ourselves, pay attention, and not overlook anything that indicates something is not right in the relationship.
  • In love, we can end the relationship with our beloved if they don't treat us well, don't care for us, and don't treat us with respect.
  • In love, we can boldly voice our wants, desires, and needs, even if they don't align with those of our partner.
  • In love, we can prevent our emotions from harming us or others.
  • In love, we can shield ourselves from our partner's negative or destructive emotions causing us suffering.
  • In love, we can say no when we want to say no. No matter how deeply in love we are, we can.
  • In love, we can demand that our partner use protection and share responsibility for both partners' sexual and reproductive health.
  • In love, we can refuse to play the role of a servant and demand that our partners fulfill their responsibilities and obligations in household and caregiving tasks.
  • In love, we can demystify love and explore new ways of loving each other beyond gender norms.
  • In love, we can continue to care for our friends just as we do when we are not in love.
  • In love, we can refuse to sacrifice, give up, and endure for the sake of love.
  • In love, we can work to fall out of love when we are not happy in a relationship.
  • In love, we can escape from relationships that pose a threat to our mental, emotional, and physical health or our own survival.
  • In love, we can analyze what brings us happiness and what causes us suffering, and we can make decisions to stop suffering.
  • In love, we can rebel against the romantic hoax and help other women in love realize that they are not condemned to suffer for love.
  • In love, we can avoid self-deception and work on everything we need to work on to live a good life, free from suffering and violence.
  • In love, we can take care of ourselves and ensure our safety and well-being.
  • In love, we can take care of our sons and daughters, and make decisions to protect them and spare them suffering.
  • In love, we can seek help if we feel that we cannot face a situation alone.
  • In love, we can detach from romantic addiction, overcome withdrawal symptoms, and free ourselves from the drug that kneels us in love.

There's nothing we can't do when in love. Because at all times and in all places, only we can say: "In my heart, I am in charge; I am the owner of my love."

Coral Herrera Gómez

Original en español:

Las mujeres enamoradas somos capaces de cualquier cosa

I am the owner of my love.

I am the owner of my love.

One of the most important discoveries I have made in my life was realizing that we all can choose who to fall in love with, and becoming aware of when it's time to fall out of love.

We might feel very attracted to someone, but before we start getting intoxicated with love, we can pause to think whether we want to fall in love or not, if it's worth it, if it's in our best interest or not, and what doses we can take to enjoy it.

The big trap of romantic love is that it makes us believe that when Cupid shoots his arrows, we can't do anything, and that we are doomed to suffer, even to live a terrible life with people who don't love us and don't care for us.

But when you realize that you are a free being, that you are the owner of your life, your body, your desire, what you seek is to spare yourself from suffering. When you take care of yourself and love yourself well, when you want to have a good life, you understand that you're not condemned, that you can choose who you want to be with and who you don't, that you can use common sense to make decisions, and that therefore you are not a slave to patriarchal romanticism.

It took me a few years to discover this, but it was a total liberation to know that I am responsible for my own happiness, I am the owner of the love that arises within me, and I choose who I want to experience it with and share it with.

I am the owner of my love.

Coral Herrera Gómez

Original article: Yo soy dueña de mi amor