He knows that you want to leave.
He can't imagine his life without you.
He's not just losing a partner; he's also losing his mother, his cleaning and organizing assistant, his cooker, secretary, nurse, psychologist, nanny, manager, educator.
He's going to lose everything, and as the days go by, the desperation becomes deeper and more painful.
You try to hide that you're already on the path to liberation, but he knows you can't take it anymore. You've done everything you could, you tried for a long time, you endured and swallowed, but when you opened your eyes, you realized that you can't take it anymore.
You want to leave, and you hope everything will turn out well. You want him to accept defeat with sportsmanship and elegance. You want him let you go with your kids, not declare war on you, not make it harder for you, and accept reality.
But he knows that you're already for liberation, and he feels terrible anxiety, uncontrollable anger, and an infinite desolation. He believes that if he loses you, he has nothing left to lose.
He lacks the tools to handle emotional overflow, and moreover, he can't tolerate the idea of you being free again and living your life without him.
You belong to him; you're his woman. Your life doesn't belong to you; you can't abandon him, make decisions on your own, or leave him.
He knows you're scared.
He knows you protect him from others, that you don't tell your loved ones how badly he's treating you, because you think you can handle it alone, without anyone's help.
He tries to isolate you even more to keep you under his control.
But he suspects that you're planning to leave, and he wants to hurt you.
Because a part of him hates you and hates all women. He feels like a victim. He finds it unimaginable to be alone and to imagine you happy without him.
He's losing the power he has over you, and time is running out for him. He won't seek help because he doesn't want to face it.
What he wants is to prevent you from exercising your right to end the relationship because, to him, you're not a human being with rights.
You're his property.
Just like the dog, the house, and the kids.
They all belong to him.
Sometimes, he hopes you'll give up, but he's always on alert, trying to figure out if you're about to leave him. It's not just that he can't accept reality; he's also consumed by the desire for revenge.
He threatens you, blackmails you, pressures you, plays the victim, coerces you, and crushes you, all the while thinking about how to keep you tied to him and how to punish you if you dare to disobey.
He doesn't tell anyone what goes through his mind, he doesn't confide in anyone, and he greets the neighbors with a smile as if nothing were wrong. But he's living a hell, and he's trying to drag you down with him.
The last days with him are the worst because your fear is increasing, and he is filled with hatred, resentment, and desperation. As the end approaches, he loses control of his emotions, and he stops caring about anything.
You count the days.
So does he.
You count the hours.
So does he.
Sometimes you manage to get to safety.
Other times, you don't.
- The 85% of women who managed to leave a violent relationship had a support network: friends, family, neighbors, women's associations. Remeber that you are not alone.
Coral Herrera Gómez
